6 posts tagged “me”

I hate this day.....i do...really....but what ever i got the BIGGEST SMILE! When i logged onto vox today Cory Roberts drew this  !!!!      BE JEALOUS!!!!!!!! <333 Made v-day a good day!! hehhee

I need to do todays VIDEO OF THE DAY!! Once again is Alice Nine (fan girl scream) It's "The Sexiest Of Alice Nine:Get Low"

22 seconds = pure sex....no joke lookie and u will see Saga doing yummy things...

GARGLE! I am so tired....>.< HEY the picture is of my sleepin...gee i think Cory reads my blog....>.< i sleep WAYYYYYYYYYYY to much...u think so? yah me to..

OOHHHYAHHZ i started watchign Death Note today im on numba 4 so far i likes it im watchin it with eng subs!!!! yayyayayayyayayayyaya anime+music= love for eva!

Well ima go watch m or edeath note then off to bed.. <33333333333333333 muchlove to teh hommies I MEAN IT WATCH THE VIDEO!

I feel pretty empty right now...i have for the last few days and i don't like it. I feel sick when im like this.T_T Makes me want/need Zack more...even though i know he dosen't want to talk to me that much. Even when im not like this..so it makes it a little worse to. Then there is the failer at life that i feel i have at times that when it's like this i see everything i do wrong in life. Then i don't do things that i was doign before...and i stop changeing the things i said i was going to. So yah that means i have tried to change my life before...this time i am tryign so hard to not give up..im tired of giveing up because i feel useless...ok but what ever onto better stuff...

So i was palying WoW with Zack today we did a VC called the Deadmines ad FINIALLY beet it. ^_^ We also ran another VC together and got thought it. I am doing quests SOOOOOOO far above my level it's not even funny. I am a lever 19 almost 20. Zack is a level 38. :D I hope i can catch up to him soon i can play WoW a hell of a lot more than he can so i MIGHT be able to catch up to him pretty fast if im good.

J-ROCK FTW! Listin to this song i demand it. It's  Gazette - Filth In The Beauty i frikkin love it!!

Ok so i am going to go play WoW a bit the in off to bed. nighty night <3 ooohh yah check out this place

Zack i could kill him i am soo pissed at him. So last night he was swearing that he was going to call me first thing in the morning and guilt tripping me for not really believing him well sure enough he doesn't call them to  top it all off he doesn't call ALL DAY when i sign onto MSN i see he is playing Halo 3...I cuzz him out then he starts begging me to call his house and shit telling me that he wanted to talk to me. WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT! But what ever....im going to try not to care anymore. I am done calling him unless it is a time when he can call me and he asked me to call. We will see how much he will call me in the next few days. I want to see how often he really thinks about me to actually call. But what ever  i guess we will see what happens.

Anyway so i was talking to my mom about changing my life. She said we will make you a Control Journal from Flylady. Flylady is this chick my mom signed up for VIA her yahoo e-mail ( which she made for Flylady) and I really liked her and was startign to get thigns better for her. Well this lady also helps with little kids and Students/Teens  de-clutter/get into a routine and stuff like that. It's really cool. But a control journal breaks down your daily life and things you need to do into 3 parts your Morning Afternoon and  Before Bed, and stuff there is ALOT more to it that just that. Here's the like     Flylady.net

Well im off to find something to do for the next hour or so until i get tired. ^_^ Nighty night

love ya!
Kayty

Havent had a chance to post.

Soooo much has happened....m going on vacation to flordia i guess Zack was about to break up with me. Zack almost killed him self. I am turning my life around. Like no joke everythign is changing not all for the better but im changing alot of my habits and stuff....im doing school work. I don't really know what all to put here. i will blog at least once a week form now on though that i can promise you!!!! <3

So i was almost done posting when my mm asks me to go make bread real fast. No prob. Well i come back my PC had shut off and deleated all my cookies...so now i have to RE POST T_T GOD FRIKIN DARN IT! ok well lets start over again.

So i was goign to break up with Zack....cuz i had it with all his shit..but when i was about to say it, it hit me that even the shit i hate about him makes me love him even more. So i gave him one last chance to help me make things better with me because even though i accept/love that stuff it still hurts. So we agreed on one last chance to compromise with everything.  Last night b4 we hung up i said i wasent the angel ( He had called me an angel a few min b4) you are. All of a sudden he kinda made that gasps of pain that i get alot, along with about to cry. He said that he was no angel that he was far form it because of everythign he has done to me. I told him that everyday he saves me...frm my self. He saves me from doing things and my own head. I was going to cut yet another star into my right leg but then i thought about him, so i stoped laid back on my bed cluched Mr. Bunny to me adn cried for a good 30 min. I said some other things adn said " So baby... you ARE the angel. Not me." He calls me an angel with no reason at all just that i am. Well that ( to me) means i am not one. But to ME he is one because fo what he does for me. But anyway....

I finished Cobwebs and started the book Maybe...well i like books that show real pain in life... it's kinda hard to find that really. Well when i was reading this book it shows how life really is in the bear. It's about a boy named Brain whos brother died. His parents move to a new place near the ocean in Cali because Brain had lived there his entire life but also lost his brother there his parents thought it was time to move. Well he gets to school and is a total boy with the whole sex thing well he also gets into a drama club ect it's kinda about the pain/loss/love of life. I highly recommend it!

Well i think thats about it for now. So i will probly try and post later on tonight!! <33 love ya

Kayty

Well my dad has been shuting off the internet b4 i can post so i haven't been able to. B8ut here is the recap of last night and today.

LAST NIGHT

    Well i call Zack after my parents go to bed. So he jacks off. Yes i will put that here. He did it so that i "couldn't here" but i knew that was what he was doign cuz i knew he was watcign porn. What a loser right? Well anyway so he gets down adn im reading ignoring him. Well he says MAYBE 2 things to me i know hes done because he staets this but he still says like nothing to me os i go back to reading because i had laied back down in the dark well we sit there for over an hour in siliance. Well he decides cuz he "fell asleep" that he was goign to go...i was feelign depressed anyway but that just topped it off i wanted to TALK to him i wanted to hear him tell me he loved me more but i make no fuss and let him go to bed. Well i hang up the phone and ball my eyes out for a few....like HARD i haven't cried that hard in a LONG time. Well i guess the phone issed the reciver by a few inches and so he heard..i HONESTLY didn't mean for him to hear but anyway. So i remove te phone from nmy bed put it on the table and work in photoshop for a few. Then go to bed.

THE MORNING

Well last night he said he was goign to call in the morning well ok np i'll pick up...i didn't hear it ring and my mom didnt click that it was Zack because of the time. Well she woke me up almost an hour after he called because she was going out for the day with her friend Kate so i relize OMFG ZACK! I look and sure enough he had called i call back in a panic hopeing he is still there he is and he says he heard. I was like what he kept saying i heard it alst night. Well i cry alot when the 2 of us hang up the phone because i just wish he could be with me so badly...ect. Well finialy he tells me what and he sounded so ..sad...well that makes me cry again and he started talking about if he made me feel that bad taht maybe he should leave so tat in the end i would be happier. Well crying and shit happened and he dicided to stay and things kinda perked up after about an hour he asks me if i want him to stay home from school after dicussing it i say yes. He asks him mom so that was a no go. But what ever he promised me no matter what he would call he didn't BTW i call him and FAIL. But what ever. My day in general....after hanging up the phoen for some reason i felt very happy so i did my chores played with my dogs ate and read over 300 pages in my book in less than 5 hours! Thatsa like doign really good for me along with dancing around like a fuckin moron! lol Then mom came home and iw as talkign to Adam on myspace we decided that we were going to hang out we did after we were done eating we chilled with my annoying fucking bro for a bit then Adam and i sat in a place where he would leave us alone and we talked for a while kinda huddled together talking about everything. Then after a while we kissed and hugged and said good night. That was that.. then i called Zack cus he hadent called me and thats where we are now. We talked for 2 hours he is eateign i am calling him back in a few min. So yah.......oh and David was talking about well here.....

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: David
Date: Jan 11, 2008 6:42 PM

I'll be waiting babe lol

s it wrong for me to ignore my girlfriend because I have feelings for someone else...?

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So i tell him ok ( old convo we always say babe and baby i do it with Ryan/Kevin/Zack/David and Blaine and those people only.) and I don't know because  i didn't know what to say he has been having girl problems for the past few weeks and well he just got this girl like 2 days ago and broke up with her. Well so i begg him to tell me who it is he wont tell me he wont tell me so i keep thinking it's e or it's heather again. Well it's not heather because i got it  out of him he said it was me. I wish kinda that i could go out with him. he lived 4 hours away. He has a job he has the same interests as me or is willing to learn or just accept them as they are Zack's not like that. But i love zack SOOOOOO much but i don't know what about him he has Dona also and i dont know......but i now i want to stay with him because i think i TRULY love him.....but i just go though times more frequent here in the past week that he just loves me as a friend not like i love him...but what ever. I am going to call him and go to bed. Good ngit hall i love yalll!!